If you suffer with chronic illness, by definition you’re stuck in a vicious cycle. Some imbalance is causing a disruption which further worsens the imbalance that triggered the disruption. And you go around in circles.
For example, let’s say you’re low in magnesium or calcium which causes insomnia which triggers a cascade of other insults to your health. To get well, you need to break the vicious cycle and turn it into a virtuous one. I’ve trying to stay focused at identifying and doing what I needed to do to break the vicious cycle over the years.
Various steps I’ve taken over the years in rough chronological order:
- stop drinking alcohol
- stop eating sugars
- stop eating processed food, start eating whole foods
- natural cortisol supplementation eventually replaced by hydrocortisone
- stop eating fruit, stop eating grains
- focus on sleep – bipap machine, sleep in pitch black room with earplugs, then sleep on my side without bipap and tape mouth shut
- hair testing
- methylation support
- ozone therapy
- liver flushing
- copper detox protocol and nutritional balancing science
- colon cleansing / irrigation
- long term fenbendazole
- coffee enema
I always push my therapy very hard but could never go all away with anything because of the need to support my family and hold it together. Were I not an entrepreneur running my own business, I’d have been fired very early on and maybe that would’ve been a good thing. Instead I managed to keep all the balls in the air for nearly 14 years.
There’s no doubt I’ve been making slow progress in every area. The business nearly went down the drain after the great recession but is recovering nicely and I started a second business as well. Those who know me well say that I’m remarkably stronger now than I was two years ago. But when you’re going through hell, you really don’t want to be inching along – you want to speed through it .
Imagine you are crossing a very large lake in a canoe with your kid in the front and the shore is very far away you so that cannot see individual trees in the distance, just a smear of green on the horizon . You notice after a while the canoe is getting harder to paddle and you assume you’re just tired at first – then you notice water is pooling in the bottom of the canoe. Your canoe has a leak!
This is a vicious cycle, because the more water that comes in, the more difficult it is to paddle and the more fatigued you become. You start bailing water from the canoe with your hands, but you are only keeping up with the water leaking in. You must keep paddling also to keep the canoe moving towards shore, so you cannot bail full-time.
You don’t know where the hole in the canoe is so you cannot repair it – you must keep bailing. This is a little bit what it’s like to be fighting a chronic illness. What is it that you must do? You must bail water faster than it can come in.
Even though I’ve stayed focused on doing what must be done in my life, it has been very difficult to know whether I’m doing what must be done – whether I’m bailing more water than is leaking in. When you’re toxic, every effort at removing toxins stirs them up making you feel like so much garbage. So week after week, month after month and year after year I keep wondering “when will I get ahead in this game?”
My hair tests over the past couple years showed an unending flood of copper being excreted and my colon cleansing always seem to yield unending quantities of toxic slime.
All year long I’ve had high hopes that this would be my year for real recovery and I have worked for it as if my life depended on it.
Well finally, things started to change – a couple months after getting serious about sauna, for the first time, my hair test showed significant progress and improvement in October! It makes sense because I’ve been more or less following a nutritional balancing protocol to lower copper for more than two years and probably close to three. The results I saw fired me up and I started doing more colon cleansing but again I had the impression that I was not bailing fast enough. So I decided to go all the way, taking advantage of the holidays to ramp up to daily sauna and coffee enemas.
It was extremely difficult during the first two weeks – a wild roller coaster ride… but I knew it was time to do “what has to be done” since my recovery wasn’t moving as fast as I hoped.
The sauna and coffee enema takes a bit more than an hour a day but it has unleashed a torrent of detox. Everyday has been a little easier than the last until I add the next challenge. The last bump was when I accidentally tripled my borax dose 4 days ago — which turned out to be a good thing and I’m going to increase that again soon. As a result of this I’ve been alternating between fired up (sauna/caffeine), weepy, angry and despairing (stirred up neurotoxins on their way out).
I haven’t slept well for weeks now and needless to say, this is not a good way to be during the holidays… not good for my marriage at all. How could things get worse? Well, I forgot my youngest daughters birthday and only figured it out while we were out having lunch for her birthday. Uugggghhh!!!!!!
But I’m doing my best and every day is a bit smoother. I’m doing what’s right for myself and in the long run for my family too by getting ahead of my canoe’s leak.
There’s a lot more to tell and since this is the last day of the year, I want to give a more complete update. Over the past six months I have been doing very deep research into my daughter and wife’s health problems using a wide variety of diagnostic testing through our family MD including hair testing.
I just finished reading both Dr. Lawrence Wilson’s and Dr. Rick Malter’s books on nutritional balancing science in their entirety and I’ve been able to correlate all of our health problems very closely with our hair tests. You could say I have gone head over heels for nutritional balancing science and I’m planning a long blog post to document what I’ve seen and learned.
I feel very fortunate to be where I am now with a reliable roadmap for recovery in front of me (and behind me). Yes I’m disappointed that I didn’t make my recovery this year. But I can’t help feeling grateful for so much progress and confidence in what’s coming in 2017.
One other note – I had the feeling I was overdue for a liver flush so I did one a few weeks ago and it was very productive. I probably passed 25 stones that were the size of two or three peas or larger and 25 that were single pea size. I decided to stop using fenbendazole then to protect my liver and I’m using borax instead to control my fungal infection. That seems like a reasonable trade since my hair tests always show me low in boron.
By the way, part of “doing what has to be done” included turning off comments on old blog posts. I just couldn’t keep up with the volume, so now comments are open on fresh blog posts for two or three weeks (can’t remember how long).
Wishing you peace, happiness and virtuous cycles in 2017,