What does healing feel like?

12Instead of screwing around here, maybe I should be working now.

But I hate to leave anything unsaid when it comes to chelation and my recovery. After 12 years of being ill I think I’m entitled to indulge myself with a little obsession.

My notes for this round are at the bottom but to summarize, it was nice to chelate again after 30 days off, and especially good to go back to my old, safe dosages. I had a lot going on in addition to the chelation: started doing 3o second sprints, continued titrating up iodine and B12 therapy supplements.

I’m extremely pleased with my new exercise routine. I’ve got a strong intuition that the cardio workout was one of the missing pieces to my puzzle, even if my total sprints currently add up to 90 seconds. Also very pleased with the impact of D-Ribose right after exercising. It clears my brain quickly which at least makes me feel much better about exercising.

While I was on vacation, maybe because I had time to think, I started wondering whether or not I’m healing. I thought about it a lot and I suspect most people on the Cutler protocol think about it often at this stage in the game. I want signs. I want tangible proof that my dreams are coming true, that my investment is paying off.

For some lucky people like Patti, the minute they start chelating, they feel remarkably better. I suspect that happens more often with those who haven’t been sick for more than a couple years and whose basket of metals is not chock-full with a wide variety of toxins like mine. I’m expecting that I’ll need to chelate for three or four years.

But here’s what I think about healing. Healing does not feel like recovery does. Healing involves feeling sick and sleeping a lot. Think about the last time you had a severe cold or flu. If you’re like me, you feel absolutely miserable for 3 or 4 days and then you feel plain sick for another day or two and then you feel better and better for the last day or two.When were you actually healing? Without a doubt, you were healing during the 3 or 4 days you felt absolutely miserable. That’s when your immune system started mobilizing the troops and fighting skirmishes with the invaders.

What I’m trying to get at is that healing creeps up on you slowly. It happens invisibly at first and often surprises you at the end. You’re so focused on being miserable that you don’t easily notice subtle improvements (like needing less medication and tolerating higher doses of good things like exercise or vitamin C and D) until suddenly you wonder, when did I get better and how did I miss it happening?

I’m reminded of the remarkable pattern that I saw a reading through 1,500+ pages of the active B12 therapy forum. People deny getting better even as they mention not needing sleep medication any longer or having fewer symptoms. I think that’s because when you’re ill like I am, you’ve got a whole constellation of problems a few of which bother you so much, you can’t easily see past those ball-and-chain symptoms.

My intuition says I’m healing, but honestly, the experience I’m living is a little too chaotic and maybe it’s just too early for it to be plainly obvious. I might need 40 or 50 rounds before I get to ‘just plain obvious’.

What is healing like for you?

My chelation round notes:

Round 12 (2.5 days) – 50 mg DMSA, 50 mg ALA every 3 hours after 30 days off chelation, total chelation days to date: 31

  • Monday, June 24:  a little surge of energy in the early morning,  a little emotional in the afternoon after doing my first 60 second workout. Some lightheadness in afternoon & evening. Woke from nightmare after only 1.5 hrs sleep (very unusual). First 60 sec run on treadmill at pace 6. Increased carnitine by 333 mg to a total of 1.2 g.
  •  Tuesday, June 25: second 60 sec run on treadmill using 30 sec intervals on level 8. Frontal headache in the evening. Sharp pains around the ribs when I woke in the morning. Increased milk thistle by one capsule to a total of three. Jaw/face tension after dinner.
  •  Wednesday, June 26: ran at 10 AM on treadmill – 3 30 second intervals at level 9. Difficulty napping after lunch: maybe too much vitamin C too early in the day. Strong lightheadedness starting at 2 PM when I took my carnitine and DMSA/ALA dose at exactly the same time. Mostly faded by 4:30 PM. My recollection is that Freddd says ALA is one of the supporting supplements for methylation. Maybe that’s the explanation. Increased evening dose of iodine by 3 mg.
  • Thursday, June 27 (first day off-round): My last dose was 11 PM on Wednesday so naturally I didn’t sleep very well. Even so, this round was relatively easy having gone back to comfortable dosing at 50mg/50mg. Today I’m a little slow and fatigued but much better than I was on the rounds when I was increasing dosage above 50mg.

 

 

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  • avatar

    Jason March 25, 2016, 7:00 pm

    Eric, i have had a dramatic recovery and posted this on Patti’s blog. I felt compelled to do the same with yours. I’m not sure if any of this is helpful but feel free to email me back and I can give you more specifics on my journey. As you can read from my testimony, I had this issue since 17 and I am now 36 so it had been accumulating nearly 20 years before removal. hopefully this will give you some confidence going forward. If you are a slow chelator, this may be a good read for you.
    Mercury Detoxification Simplified
    William W. Rasmussen
    Sold by: Amazon.com LLC
    prayers and blessings,
    jason

    ——-

    Thank you for your testimony Eric. For all those suffering, I feel your pain, quite literally. I have to say though that my pain is subsiding. I wanted to share my story as well.

    At 17 years old, I got my amalgams put in. Just two, but enough to do a lot of damage. I went through my 20’s with considerable amount of pain – chest pain in particular but also tightness in right eye and full ear feeling. I would crack my chest often, had difficulty breathing, anxiety especially. i could go on but I won’t.

    Things got so bad it was affecting day to day life, my marriage, etc. I was determined to figure out what was causing my fibromyalgia symptoms so I looked up all the possibly causes and read about heavy metals. Last July I had my amalgams taken out and the results were dramatic!

    i ended up breathing better, my lazy eye opened, i lost a good 20 or more pounds, my muscular strength increased exponentially, i was able to stay up longer, do more work (no more chronic fatigue), my married life and life with kids got so much better too. i didn’t need to crack my chest anymore and right now it feels like my network of nerves are reconnecting.

    i should also mention in all this that i became sensitized to metals, not desensitized, but sensitized. Meaning touching metal was painful. once i realized this i stopped wearing anything metal (jewelry, eyeglasses, etc) i even avoided touching metal if possible (eating with my hands instead of utensils, etc). there are some scholarly articleso n this published in sweeden in late 90s that confirmed this existence in mercury exposed individuals.

    This is the backdrop, I would like to explain what I did to get to a nearly full recovery. I am not yet fully recovered but believe I will be someday.

    1. chiropractor – this was before i knew what the problem was – but it did really help get things moving again
    2. tens machine – ultima neuro – matches the nerve impulse of the body to relax it and let nerves repair themselves
    3. other physical exercise devices – i especially liked using the theracane and the foam roller but any massage was great too. It really stimulated more oxygen in my bloodstream.
    4. DIET – this one was huge – I changed to eating just veggies and lean meat, mostly chicken, and plain spaghetti, nothing added. Later on, I added cilantro and garlic – powerful chelators
    5. SUPPLEMENTS – my wife is a physician and she began telling me about supplements – i tried a few but the one that gave me the most success is neurogen by a hand surgeon fitzmaurice, google it, it’s got ALA that cutler recommends. I also take Gluathiamine and chlorella and magnesium oil, These were all recommended by the superman diet, see http://thesupermandiet.com/detox/.
    5. Reading posts – I have to say thet without the Internet I would not have been healed. No traditional doctor figured it out, I did, with the help of bloggers like yourself! It is my firm commitment to keep on going back to learn more and even when completely healed, to help others in my predicament. i think the ADA needs to go down for the evil it has allowed to occur under its watch!
    6. Prayer – no real explanation needed here, but I do think it helps!

    I would be happy to go into any details of what I did to recover but I do think the following things are true:
    – my recovery could be linked to the fact that I am in my mid 30s and besides this thing (doctor’s always said this) had perfect health
    – i respond well to chelation – not true for everyone

    therefore, i believe that you first must listen to your body before anything else – even a trained practitioner. Go slowly and increase dosage as your tolerance allows. Remember that the toxins are eliminated through your poop. If you don’t eliminate regularly this could be a problem. Fortunately, I don’t have that problem.

    You may email at jsalas2162@gmail.com for any clarifications or questions.

    Wishing you all the best of luck and God’s good graces on your road to recovery.

    By the way, in July it will be my one year since removal of amalgams so my progress has been relatively quick.
    I do think that it can be for others as well without too many other comorbidities.

    • avatar

      Eric March 28, 2016, 2:57 pm

      Congrats Jason and thanks for sharing! -e

  • avatar

    Expat Viking June 29, 2013, 11:42 pm

    “But here’s what I think about healing. Healing does not feel like recovery does. Healing involves feeling sick and sleeping a lot. ”
    I agree 100%!
    Also, if you see things this way, high doses of various supplements and strong reactions may be regarded as a positive thing, at least in some cases.
     

    • avatar

      Eric June 30, 2013, 2:02 am

      Glad to see you back Viking! I’ve thought about your comments a lot regarding sleep and your various reactions to the protocols… It’s funny how many times I can turn these things over in my head to reassure myself that I’m making progress. Am up to 37.5 mg of iodine now and the last couple of increases have happened pretty easily without much in the way of headache. Are you still taking megadoses? What did you feel?

      I see my body temperature rising and feel sure it’s got to bring some good things with it. The lightheadedness I get from methylation does make it hard for me to know what’s going on in all the other departments. Nevertheless, I have a pretty strong conviction that it’s important to keep going. Did you see this comment: http://howirecovered.wpengine.com/active-b12-therapy-faq/#comment-1655 ? Seems to me that even if all of Freddd’s problems stem from mercury, it’s very impressive that he found a way to eliminate his symptoms:)

      • avatar

        Expat Viking June 30, 2013, 2:22 pm

        “Glad to see you back Viking!”

        Thanks! But I never left! I follow your story with great interest and it seems like you are making clear progress. In my case, it is all good except for the fact that I have some weight that I can’t get rid of. But on other fronts, there is still ongoing progress. During the past months, I feel like there has been a significant improvement in my work capacity. You may recall that I talked about high focus days and I am getting many of them lately. Very, very nice. Also, the last traces of what used to be my main issue, peripheral neuropathy, is now disappearing. I can’t even put words on what a relief that is!

        Great news on the iodine! My normal dose for the past 18 months has been 50 mg, so you are almost at the same level. Regarding mega doses, I have tried 180 mg for a total of 4 weeks and don’t really feel any different. I did it now while holding a quite strict diet, since I wanted to see if I could force some bromide out of my fat tissues. I think that there was some effect, but nothing major.

        “I see my body temperature rising and feel sure it’s got to bring some good things with it”

        This is very good news and also it indicates that you need the iodine.
        Very interesting (and a bit sad) comment about Freddd. I will write something under that post.
        In other news, I did 2 days of ALA and then missed a night dose….. Bummer…So I will rest for 2 days and then go again.

        • avatar

          Eric June 30, 2013, 3:07 pm

          Very kind of you Viking to take an ongoing interest in my story! I have to say, I’m really thrilled about the iodine – it’s very motivating to have at least one protocol that is easily measurable. I guess that I’m actually at 50 mg already factoring in the topical use. I put it on my toes and abdomen and notice that especially from the abdomen, it’s almost gone in the morning. My body just sucks it up. I’m also very reassured to know that those large doses don’t seem to have any affect on you. Just like with the B12 protocol, I find comfort in the knowledge that healthy people don’t react to large supplement quantities.

          Have you ever seen anything relating to heavy metals as to why or how iodine gets depleted? I can’t remember now whether I’ve ever come across anything like that… Seems to be one missing link in the story. Either that or I just can’t remember what I read two months ago.

          Glad to hear that your peripheral neuropathy is disappearing – you should be very proud that you accomplished this without the help of famous high price MDs. And, I think you’ve earned the right to a few aborted rounds now and then maybe even an extended chelation holiday 😀

          • avatar

            Expat Viking June 30, 2013, 3:37 pm

            “Have you ever seen anything relating to heavy metals as to why or how iodine gets depleted? ”

            I have not seen anything solid about this and don’t know if mercury in some way depletes iodine. I am guessing that there is some connection to the general detox abilities that an individual has, i.e. if you have difficulties getting rid of mercury you may also have difficulties getting rid of bromide and flouride. But it is only a guess and I have nothing to back that up with.

            I do think that many of the people at the FDC list that have tyroid problems would benefit from high dose iodine, but that subject is very sensitive there. 

            • avatar

              Eric June 30, 2013, 4:38 pm

              That makes some sense – if Mercury causes a B12 deficiency which results in depletion of glutathione and glutathione is involved in general detox ability, that could be the link…

              It’s funny how long it takes to figure out what is sensitive or not on FDC.

"...nothing ever goes away
until it has taught us
what we need to know.
"
-Pema Chodron

"God, whose law it is that all who learn must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget, falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God."
-Aeschylus

About


My name is Eric - I‘m 48 and saw a doctor for fatigue at 17. I lived fairly normally if a little subdued by lack of endurance at times. But then, 12 years ago I fell into a nosedive after moving to South Florida. Now, I know heavy metal toxicity is a significant source of my troubles along with genetic methylation cycle dysfunction and Lyme disease. I spent 18 months chelating the metals out and starting up methylation but stopped when I felt myself circling the drain. Currently going after Lyme and co-infections. More about me here.

* supplements
* hair test
* genetics
* lessons learned

"Battles are won in their darkest hours. Wars are won by learning something from each battle."
-Eric

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